A Letter to the Dead Sea Captain Haunting My House
Here it is -- my first article for The Belladonna Comedy! This satirical letter is from a modern-day Mrs. Muir to the ghost in her house. Spoiler alert: she is NOT happy with her unexpected roommate.
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"Stop hanging your portrait on my bedroom wall. I’ve been putting it in the basement for a reason. Even if I wanted to look at you more frequently, it doesn’t fit the minimalist aesthetic I’m going for. If this confuses you, feel free to refer to my home decor Pinterest board."I loved The Ghost and Mrs. Muir growing up, and I've always had a huge obsession with nautical ghosts. It was really fun to imagine what a passive-aggressive roommate letter would look like when the person being haunted by an antiquated sea captain is a no-nonsense modern woman.
"I understand old sailors loved shouting things like 'land ho' or 'fish ho' or whatever, but as I keep telling you, 'ho' means something different now. Please find some other way to announce the arrival of my friends."I love this site and its focus on smart humor from women and non-binary/genderqueer writers. There's been a The Toast-shaped hole in my heart for a while now, and The Belladonna Comedy goes a long way towards fixing that.
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