Showing posts from 2017

Announcing The Wicked Wallflowers Club, a romantic podcast!

I'm happy to announce the launch of a podcast I'm co-hosting with author Jenny Nordbak. We're two friends, writers, and aspiring romance novelists who met while studying archaeology at the University of Southern California. We read, write, and love everything about the romance genre, and we wanted to share our enthusiasm for romance with the world (and hopefully dispel some of the shame associated with it). The podcast will include interviews with authors, book reviews, dramatic readings, and frank discussions about sex positivity and the stigma faced by romance readers and authors. Check out our website here! Download the episode and subscribe to the show on iTunes .

A list of God’s rejected plagues to punish the Egyptians

Here's my latest for Slackjaw ! Thus says the LORD, “There are no bad ideas when brainstorming” This fun list proposes some alternate plagues God may have considered before settling on the classic "locusts and rivers of blood." Check it out!

The Fashionista's Guide to Tank Season

Here's my latest for Slackjaw! "The Fashionista's Guide to Tank Season" is an excellent resource for any woman looking for a hot new accessory to protect her from mass shootings, foreign aggressors, male aggressors, and the government. "One reason to choose the Panzer IV to complete your pinup look, rather than the flashier Tiger I or Sherman Firefly, is its reliability and easy maintenance. If it was good enough for 30% of the Wehrmacht’s total tank strength, it’s good enough for brunch!" I love this article because I got to spend SO MUCH TIME researching tanks. My family has always been interested in military history, and my father's (only somewhat insulting) nickname for me as a child was Tiger, after the tank. Because I was clumsy. The Tiger I is a pretty great tank, though, so I can't be too offended. I also got to Photoshop cute accessories onto tanks, which provided me with a lot of entertainment and a wonderful response when my

A Letter to the Dead Sea Captain Haunting My House

Here it is -- my first article for The Belladonna Comedy ! This satirical letter is from a modern-day Mrs. Muir to the ghost in her house. Spoiler alert: she is NOT happy with her unexpected roommate. "Stop hanging your portrait on my bedroom wall. I’ve been putting it in the basement for a reason. Even if I wanted to look at you more frequently, it doesn’t fit the minimalist aesthetic I’m going for. If this confuses you, feel free to refer to my home decor Pinterest board." I loved The Ghost and Mrs. Muir growing up, and I've always had a huge obsession with nautical ghosts. It was really fun to imagine what a passive-aggressive roommate letter would look like when the person being haunted by an antiquated sea captain is a no-nonsense modern woman. "I understand old sailors loved shouting things like 'land ho' or 'fish ho' or whatever, but as I keep telling you, 'ho' means something different now. Please find some other way

Mistakes to Avoid on Your Cover Letter for a Job in Hell™

Here's my latest piece for Points in Case ! I loved the dynamic of having a demon discuss something very banal (how to write a proper cover letter) while still trying to imbue his instructions with a sufficient amount of horror. "Mistake #4: Not actually writing a cover letter. "I don’t care if your resume is written in the blood of a virgin: you still need to include a cover letter. I can’t get a sense of your true depravity from a few bullet points. "Even worse is a hastily typed email that says nothing but 'My resume is attached.' I know it’s attached because, unlike the thousands of applicants who also typed 'my resume is attached,' I still have eyes." Check it out here!

A Guide to Artisanal Coffee from the Macbeth Witches

Enjoy my latest article, " A Guide to Artisanal Coffee from the Macbeth Witches ," published by Slackjaw! My friends are very particular about how to make coffee and use all sorts of arcane equipment, and the sheer elaborateness of their caffeination processes makes me laugh. I started thinking about coffee as a magical art, and the idea evolved from there. Pictured: Eye of newt, toe of frog, and single-origin beans I wrote in trochaic tetrameter for this one, which was a lot of fun. Check it out!

New Article: "Six Halloween costumes that scream 'civic-minded AND super hot!'"

I'm proud to announce my first piece for Slackjaw! This was a lot of fun to write. Read it for fun references to 11th century tenant rights and the ongoing destabilization of society. " Six Halloween costumes that scream 'civic-minded AND super hot!' "